Robyn.Bowles.es

So much. I don’t want to say “too much,” because, really, I do have a lot of free time. I have certainly been successful at filling it – maybe not always in the most balanced way, but I am very grateful to have time that I’ve never really had before.

I have enjoyed being able to go for walks on beautiful, sunny days and to meet with friends over coffee in little cafes. I’ve had opportunities to speak in Spanish and soon will start learning it more intensely in classes two days a week. I appreciate time to read: books, newspapers (in Spanish), and internet articles and sites about topics that interest me. I’ve had time to keep in touch with many friends via email and remain connected to my home church through the sermons posted on their website.

We’re learning about living with little. It amazes to consider our wages now compared to what we made at home. It is not easy, but it is livable; and yet when I was home, I felt such a drive to work more and earn more – not necessarily so I could spend it, but more-so just to have it; to feel the security of money.

That security is certainly not available now, but a greater security is – the security of faith, the security of hope, the reassurance that I am of greater value than the splendid lilies of the field.

I confess, having that faith doesn’t always make it easy. It is difficult to turn down friends who invite us out for a drink or a concert or tapas. It is a bit humiliating, when we do go out, to sit at a table with only the bottle of water that I’ve brought in myself. But the humility of it allows me to pause and realize that even though it is all I may have, it is still so much more than many – if not most – of the people in world have.

Just the fact of the skills that we possess and the potential we have because of those skills makes us rich in the eyes of the world. I am healthy, educated and loved. Those three things alone – even without money – are more than what hundreds of millions of people have.

These things weigh increasingly heavier on my soul as I contemplate my responsibility.

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